As we go through life we constantly (every moment) assign our experiences to either the “I like it” or “I don’t like it” category. (Then there’s also the neutral category, but that means we aren’t even present for that experience, so I won’t get into that here.) This wanting/not wanting is where suffering comes from; if we like it, we move towards it or desire it, if we don’t we discard it or move away from it. So there is this constant push/pull that informs our life and our actions. If we weren’t so attached to these two ways of being, perhaps we could have more calmness and equanimity in our lives. But instead we are buffeted from one thing to another in search of happiness.
Studies indicate that people who are optimistic and are able to release negative emotions and accept things as they are and are not attached to a particular perspective have a longer life expectancy than those that are pessimistic and worry or try to control or change things that are out of their control. This non-attachment is not a passive or complacent attitude, but an attitude of acceptance that works with what is, rather than how we would like things to be.
We are attached to many things which include sense objects, distorted incorrect views, theories, opinions, and beliefs, activities and practices based on superstition and incorrect views, and everything that we describe as “me” and “mine.”
To begin to release our attachments, we need to first become aware of (mindfulness) whatever arises within our field of consciousness or experience and become aware of how you relate to it. The acronym R.A.I.N. may assist you in this process. R.A.I.N stands for
R = Recognize when a strong emotion is present.
A = Allow or acknowledge that it’s there.
I = Investigate the body, emotions, and thoughts
N = Non-identify with whatever is there.
R.A.I.N. is an insightful self-inquiry practice that you can bring into your daily life to help you discover deeper threads of what you are attached to. Throughout the next week, bring recognition to any strong emotion and allow the emotion to be present. Investigate what you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally and see where it takes you. The last element, non-identification, is very useful because it helps to deflate the mind’s stories and reactions. It’s like going to a movie, where you sit back and watch the actors play out the drama. You can see that these thoughts are all impermanent and not identify with any of them.
–it just gives me rope burn.”
–Lama Surya Das
